You never know when you can lose your virginity The issue of virginity is a controversial one, back then it used to be such a big deal, but as society became more modernized and western cultures began to infiltrate into Malawi, it has become “acceptable” to marry a non-virgin. If you are still a virgin, you need to know that based on statistics, chances are very high the person you marry will not be one. How would you respond when they tell you someone else was their first?
Personally I prefer a virgin, and below are my reasons. THE BIBLE SAYS SO Now let’s begin with the Bible, I hope I don’t appear as if I am taking the moral high ground here, since we all are sinners, but I think God knew the peril of marrying someone who is not a virgin and hence that is why the Bible forbids it.
NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IT SAYS
Now like I said before, we are all sinners, but life is much easier if we were able to follow the path the Lord wants us to. Needless to say this is very hard and many of us fail.
PEACE OF MIND You can never trust a woman you did not deflower yourself. There is always one question, men who married deflowered women will ask themselves even on their deathbed, who was her first?
How many had her before me? This is a most disturbing thought that will keep on nagging and haunt you for the rest of your life. There is no way to ascertain how many people someone slept with if they are deflowered, so no matter what she tells you, you can never really be satisfied. Needless to say the first cut is the deepest.
I talked to a lot of women before writing this and almost of all them agreed that it’s hard to forget the first sexual encounter, many of them have had countless romps, and have even forgotten some of the guys who had their way with them, but never the first knife. One dude i interviewed told me a very interesting story about a girl he had once cohabited with. He was her first, then they broke up, and both moved on. Now nine years later both are married, but whenever she gets in trouble, especially financial trouble, he is the first one she calls and he says he can’t turn his back on her because she has this grip on him that even himself cannot explain.
Such is the power of such a union. Now no matter how good you treat her in most cases she will never forget the man who took her first. One woman had this to say” you cannot forget your first love because until that moment you did not know better, as such the memory is always etched in one’s mind. Now it only takes the right amount of persuasion from the man who took her first to get her in bed with him again.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that risk. COMPARISON If you are well endowed and you are very skillful when it comes to the bedroom game, then well you have nothing to fear because even if she does compare you to her exes, you would win.
Sadly most of us are just average in terms of both size and bedroom skills, hence you will most likely to fall short of the bar that was set by the “first cut”. Before embarking on writing this article, I borrowed a Facebook account from one of my girlfriends ( not girlfriend as in relationship).
She is a member of these secret women groups on Facebook where they discuss men sex etc. What i noted from the conversations is that most men, don’t know how to play the game, and almost all of the ladies there had someone ex-boyfriend who used to do it right. According to the discussions of these women, many men claim to be good in bed, but they are not and many of the women feign satisfaction just to get it over with. However most interesting to note was that most of the guys who are good in bed though, are douchebags, players, etc and in most cases, they are not very successful career wise or financially.
As such they get dumped but given that the successful guys are always too busy for sex life or not good at all, the women always go back to their loser boyfriends who deflowered them for the real thing.
I was shocked to discover that most have joined Facebook groups where they hookup with strangers for what they term NSA (No Strings Attached) Relationships. Another popular practice is the reinvention of the sugar mama phenomenon, the women date younger boys who are still virile and eager to place. These boys are called Ben Ten after some cartoon characters or something.
So bottom line, if you marry someone deflowered and you are not good with the game, chances are high that she won’t be able to resist comparing you to her ex, and in most cases she will go back to him for “special treatment”. THE EXCEPTIONS BETRAYAL RAPE AND ABUSE CASES. Now there are some very principled girls and women out there.
Sadly they sometimes date jerks, and somehow are tricked into bed with the promises of marriage, the prove to me that you love me etc. I feel sorry for girls who get betrayed like this but nevertheless, they had a choice and the chose badly. Then of course there is the case of RAPE and ABUSE. These of course are above board.
It was not their fault and if you marry someone like that, is important that you never refer to that subject in an unpleasant or mean way. They should also be regularly be taken for counseling. I have a friend who says she was raped around eight years of age. She claims just the thought of sex actually depresses her, she constantly loses boyfriends because the moment they get “touchy touchy” she is reminded of the abuse she suffered.
Some of the strongest excuses deflowered girls come up with is that they did not deflower themselves. A guy did it and as such, no guy has a right to question the virginity of any woman especially if they are not a virgin themselves. Now this a very unfair excuse, most guys do not sleep around and many of them die virgins since they never deflowered anyone. Is it fair then to paint them with the same brush you use on bad boys?
On the part of where the guy is not a virgin, I would say fair and square, but let’s not forget that despite all the equal rights stuff etc, our society is still at stage where if a man cheats they can be forgiven, but if a woman cheats, it’s a cardinal sin not be forgiven.